A mother’s love for her child is impossible to put into words. It begins the very moment you realize you are going to bring a beautiful life into this world, and it continues without end, growing deeper with each passing day. It is unconditional, unwavering, and nothing on this earth can ever diminish it. Having a daughter is a gift that fills your heart with joy, love, admiration, and dreams for the future. I felt that way from the very beginning, imagining all the special moments we would share together and the memories we would create.
Maddy, as a child, was endlessly curious and adventurous. She loved vacations, exploring new places, and any trip that brought her to the beach was her favorite. She adored the feeling of sand between her toes and the sound of the waves crashing, completely fearless in her joy. The world was a playground, and she approached it with wonder and excitement.
Maddy was extraordinary, with a heart bigger than anyone could imagine. She lived as if every moment mattered, embracing life fully and with a radiant positivity. Her laughter was infectious, her smile could light up any room, and her presence was impossible to ignore. She was silly, charismatic, and inspiring—always including others, comforting those who were sad, and reminding everyone she met that they were special. Maddy lived authentically, without fear of judgment, and pursued her dreams with determination. Her philosophy was simple yet profound: no matter what had happened in the past, there were still miles to go, places to see, and a life to live.
Her warmth and joy extended to everyone she touched, especially me. Maddy was my best friend, my confidant, and my beautiful, thoughtful, giving daughter. She taught me the true meaning of love, acceptance, generosity, and living each day to the fullest.
Her bond with her brother Georgie was something truly rare. They shared everything, from adventures to daily conversations, and our little family was inseparable. We went on trips together, attended each other’s activities, and held weekly family nights to catch up and connect. Family was everything to us, and the love and respect we shared created a bond that was both deep and unshakable. People often asked how we were so close; the answer was simple—unconditional love.
Maddy dreamed of traveling the world and becoming a model, which became her college major. She had a natural beauty that shone every day, effortlessly turning sweatpants and a hoodie into a statement of style. She had already graced the cover of a magazine, a testament to her uniqueness and charm. She was truly one of a kind.
Maddy’s friends adored her, though she never realized just how deeply she was loved. At her memorial, over 700 people from across the country came to honor her. I wish I could have met them all under different circumstances. My heart aches every day for my sweet daughter. The pain is constant, and not a single day passes without tears. Maddy will always be my world, my heart, my everything.
This is the story of the day I lost my precious daughter, one of the two greatest loves of my life.
It was Maddy’s 19th birthday, and as tradition dictated, we went out for dinner. She wasn’t feeling well but insisted on celebrating. At the restaurant, she hardly ate, which was unusual for her. When we got home, she was sick to her stomach and had diarrhea. That night she continued to be ill, and the next morning she had a fever. I told her that if she wasn’t feeling better, we would visit the doctor.
On Wednesday morning, I went to wake her and found her lying in bed, eyes open but distant, out of it. I asked if she knew who I was and tried to help her shower after a rough night. She grew weak, so I helped her sit down while dressing her for the doctor. My heart raced as I realized something was seriously wrong. I called for help, holding her tightly, whispering, “It’s okay, they’re coming.” Then, suddenly, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and stopped breathing.
I screamed, “Don’t leave me, I love you, please don’t leave me!” By the time help arrived, she had a seizure and had stopped breathing. They rushed her to the ambulance, and I followed in a police car. At the hospital, I waited while doctors worked tirelessly to save her. Finally, I saw her, hooked to a ventilator. Her condition was grave.
Maddy fought through the night, her strength and determination shining through. I prayed that I could take her place, that she would continue her beautiful life filled with dreams and love, alongside her brother who needed her as his lifelong companion.
On Thursday, she grew weaker, and the painful decision was made to turn off the ventilator. I held her as she took her last breath. I stayed with her as long as allowed, unwilling to let go. I wanted to bring her home, to keep her safe in my arms. The horror of losing a child is indescribable. Maddy died unexpectedly from Toxic Shock Syndrome on March 30, 2017, at 4:55 p.m.—her life cut short by a tampon that poisoned her body.
The grief and anger remain. Therapy and PTSD treatment cannot erase the trauma or the self-blame I feel. My son lost his sister, his best friend, and I miss Maddy every moment of every day. She was a rare gem, beautiful inside and out, and I love her more than life itself.
Approximately a year after Maddy’s passing, my son and I created the Don’t Shock Me – Maddy Massabni Foundation for Toxic Shock Awareness. The foundation educates the public about Toxic Shock Syndrome, the risks of tampon use, and the importance of recognizing early symptoms. The disease is often misdiagnosed—90% of the time—and underreported due to lack of regulation. Our mission is to provide awareness, education, and advocacy to prevent more young women from dying.
Independent research shows that TSS is often caused by chemicals in tampons, not just leaving them in too long, a fact rarely disclosed to consumers. Through the foundation, we are changing packaging, working on legislation including Madalyn’s Law in New Jersey, proposing federal bills, and educating healthcare providers nationwide. Already, Maddy has saved four lives through our awareness efforts. She continues to change the world from heaven, her legacy living on in every life she touches.
Maddy is forever with me. She will always be my world, my heart, my guiding light, until the day we meet again. My love for her is unconditional, eternal, and infinite.
With all my heart,
Mommy
