Thanksgiving is a day to pause and be grateful. A day to stop and smell the roses—or, in the case of my little girl, the marigolds. But while gratitude is wonderful, holidays can also bring a complex mix of emotions. Even on the brightest days, hard things still happen, so here’s a little guide for when your feelings don’t know how to take a day off.
1. Food Guilt
We’ve all been there—stuffing our faces and then taking a hard swing at our self-worth. Don’t. One day of indulgence won’t make you “big,” just like one day of dieting won’t make you “thin.” Eat what you love. Enjoy it. Savor the flavors. Thanksgiving is meant to be eaten, celebrated, and remembered—not counted and judged.
2. Family and Friend Dynamics
Go if you want to. Stay home if you want to. Excuse yourself if it’s too chaotic, too draining, or if conversations threaten your peace or values. Boundaries are beautiful—and sometimes holiday cheer can blur those lines. Remember this: “We have an obligation to love everyone, but some people we must love at a safe distance.” Send the drama to the kiddy table, keep your heart light, and protect your joy.
3. The Perfect Day
Did the pie crust burn? Can’t carve the turkey? Forget it. Seriously. Dominos still delivers, and pajamas are underappreciated holiday attire. The truth is, the people around your table matter more than the perfectly roasted turkey or the perfectly folded napkins. Laugh, spill a little gravy, pass the rolls, and make memories over messes. Those imperfect moments often become the stories we tell for years.
4. Missing a Loved One
It’s okay to feel it all—deeply, painfully, tenderly. I have this odd belief that when someone we love passes, a piece of them stays with us. And on holidays, that piece can feel extra heavy. Let yourself sit with it. Cry if you need to, smile if you remember something funny, and honor them in your own way. I don’t want to be forgotten one day, but I want to be remembered with joy. Teach a tradition they loved to someone else, and let their spirit live on. That’s how goodness survives—through the love we pass forward.
So, that’s my little Thanksgiving cheat sheet. Eat, drink, be merry, dodge cousin Mary if she robs your joy, and always do what’s best for you. And if gratitude feels impossible today, simply place your hand on your chest and breathe.
After all, “a grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.”
Happy Thanksgiving—from my big, messy, loving heart to yours.
