We were on cloud nine. It was May 2017, and we were heading into a long weekend filled with friends, family, and laughter. I had just shared the news with my husband, Matt, that I was pregnant. Our hearts were full, our excitement palpable—and yet, I had no idea that just a few days later, we would be plunged into a pain we were unprepared for.
It started subtly, with cramping and discomfort. Like many, I turned to Dr. Google for reassurance. Early pregnancy cramping was normal, I told myself. Everything would be fine. But when the spotting started, I knew deep down the devastating truth: we had lost our baby. I became one in four, another statistic in a sea of heartbreak. Miscarriage swallowed me whole. The days that followed were a blur. I was broken, defeated, and weighed down by guilt, even though logically I knew there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome. Amid the heartbreak, a stark realization struck me: why is something so common so rarely talked about? Why was I unprepared for the avalanche of tests and ultrasounds that followed? That was when I decided to speak up. To share openly and honestly. If I could help even one person feel less alone in their grief, it would be worth it. Social media became my loudest microphone, and little did I know how pivotal it would become in our journey to parenthood.
Matt and I leaned on each other during those dark months. He has always been my safe harbor, my rock, the one person who can pull me back from the edge. Our shared loss, painful as it was, brought us closer. We emerged stronger, more connected, and infinitely more grateful for one another. By November, hope returned in the form of a new pregnancy. Friends and family rejoiced with us. I was meticulous—vitamins, nutrition, monitoring my body—every step a careful act of care and hope.
Then came the phone call that would change everything. A few weeks after being sent for IPS testing, the doctor’s office called. “Your scans show a high probability that your baby will have Down Syndrome,” they said. I froze, clutching the phone as minutes seemed to stretch endlessly. When I finally called Matt, he came home immediately, and together we faced the reality: our little one might be born with special needs. The questions swirled in my mind. Could we handle this? Could I be the mother this child needed? The fear and sadness were real—but one thing was certain: a diagnosis wouldn’t change the love growing inside me.
At fifteen weeks, an email from our genetics counselor, Jackie, arrived. The moment of truth had come: the results of our NIPT testing. My hands shook as I dialed her number. “Well, Melissa, which results would you like first?” she asked. “The genetics results, please,” I said, heart pounding.
“There is a 90% chance your baby will be born with Down Syndrome.”
I had expected the answer. And then she added, “And you’re having a girl.”
Shock. Surprise. And then an overwhelming surge of joy. In that instant, I realized how deeply I wanted a daughter. Matt shared my excitement, and together we began imagining our lives with her.
The pregnancy was not without its challenges. I was referred to a high-risk OB, faced gestational diabetes and hypertension, and was taken off work five weeks before my due date. The physical strain was immense, and emotionally, I wrestled with doubt. “How can I be a good mother if I hate being pregnant?” I questioned myself, guilt gnawing at my heart. Yet, even in exhaustion and uncertainty, I clung to the end goal: meeting our daughter.
At 38 weeks, labor began. After two days of intermittent labor, I underwent an emergency C-section. At 8 p.m. on August 8th, 2018, Emma came into the world. From that moment, our lives became pure magic.
We shared the news of her diagnosis in the hospital. The support, love, and encouragement from friends and family poured in immediately, growing stronger every day. At nine weeks old, Emma was diagnosed with Mosaic Down syndrome—a rarer and even more special version of what we had expected. Our magical girl had arrived, and we embraced every bit of her uniqueness.
Over the past sixteen months, I’ve proudly shared Emma’s life with the world. I document the joys, the struggles, and the unpredictable moments of raising a child with special needs. I’ve found my voice, and in doing so, I hope to inspire acceptance, understanding, and love.
Through it all, I’ve discovered purpose. I am stronger than I imagined, resilient beyond measure, and committed to making the world a better place for Emma. Matt has been unwavering—an incredible father, a steadfast husband, and a source of courage and optimism. His support empowers me every day, reminding me that together, we can face anything.
Our journey is ongoing, unpredictable, and sometimes challenging—but the love we share as a family is immeasurable. Emma has opened my heart in ways I never thought possible, and every step of our story ripples outward, sparking conversation, connection, and acceptance. There is still work to be done, advocacy to continue, and barriers to break—but it’s the three of us, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
